Toddler’s Toothpaste Primary Cause of Cavities, Tooth Decay

Maria Sanchez knew drastic measures were in order during a recent pre-Halloween party she attended with her son, three-year-old Ricky. Little Ricky, adorably dresssed as Thomas the Train, was asked to remove his novelty gag teeth before bobbing for apples. If only it had been that easy. “My boy’s teeth had gotten so bad, people [...]
Read More →Devastating Upper West Side Blaze – Killing Eleven and Seriously Injuring thirty-five – Easily Best Day in Fire Engine-Loving Toddler’s Life!

A six-alarm fire swept through a huge swath of Columbus Avenue on Saturday, taking the lives of eleven souls, injuring dozens more, and destroying scores of homes and businesses. Firefighters from seven different Manhattan ladder companies responded to the fire, which was said to have caused upwards of 100 million in damages. “I think the [...]
Read More →Blankie Intentionally Left Behind at Playdate

MANIPULATIVE, SNEAKY STAPLE OF THE SERIAL DATER PAYS OFF FOR LITTLE NOAH BRADLEE. “Oh, I left my earrings at your house last night, can I come get them?” “Hmm, I seem to have left my cell phone somewhere in your bedroom last night, looks like we’ll have to meet up today, doesn’t it?” We all [...]
Read More →New Carbon Monoxide Detector Detects, Redistributes Snooze-Inducing Gas at The Push of a Button!

Bribery didn’t work. Threats didn’t work. And no earplug known to man could quell the constant crying and whining 32-year-old Anil Sukhuja-Woon (no relation!) was faced with on a recent Friday evening. Fortunately, her husband Carl had recently installed the Dozen-500 Carbon Monoxide Redistribution system. Not fifteen minutes later, the children were silent – blissfully dozing [...]
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