Our son took a job bagging groceries recently, and has since proven himself dependable, eager, and hardworking. My wife and I are very proud of him. Unfortunately, we discovered that he has been spending this hard-earned money on marijuana. As occasional marijuana smokers ourselves, we cannot in good conscience reprimand him, but at the same time; we are upset that he’s working so hard – only to spend his money on illicit drugs. What should we do?
– Signed, “Torn”
First of all, congratulations for just coming out and saying it: YOU SMOKE POT! If I had a nickel-bag for every parent that danced around the issue of their current (or past) drug-use, I’d be quite high indeed. But enough about you, Mr. Dope Fiend. So put down the bong, tell your dealer(s) you’ll call them back later, and listen up. Fortunately (for you and your feeble little attention span), the answer to your question is quite easy. You smoke dope? He smokes dope? You don’t want him to blow his money on drugs? LET HIM SMOKE YOUR DOPE!
Now, there is something you’ll have to keep in mind moving forward: Kids these days get amazing pot. And I have a sneaking suspicion that you and Mrs. Mary Jane are still rolling the crappy brown Mexican weed full of stems and seeds on the underside of a Wham-o-frisbee. Point being: He may not want to smoke your terrible pot. So find out who has access to the better weed (him, I’m sure), and then either go in halfsies, or do what any good parent would and simply provide for your child – free of charge.
Now pull your head out of that smoky cloud, take a shower, and go DO something, you drug-addled little slob!