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Coke Snorted off Chuck E. Cheese Changing Table.

coke on table

By   /   April 28, 2017  /   No Comments

A day at Chuck E. Cheese took a turn for the slightly-more-tolerable after local Irvington dad, Phillip White, discovered approximately one eighth of a gram of blow in his pants pocket from two nights prior.

“I was so fucked up that night that I totally forgot I had any left!” said White, 28, in a rapid-fire coke-induced, spit-forming-in-the-corners-of-his-mouth rant. “I was pretty stoked to not only find my coke you know the coke that me and Ricky bought off that Dominican kid on Rivington Street but also to find a bathroom with one of them changing tables in it – when I was younger, before kids I woulda just snorted it off the toilet seat because you know that’s fine who gives a shit right? But my back has been hurting me lately what with all the toddler crap I’ve been carrying around, including my toddler, Jeremy, so the height of the changing table was really good for my purposes with the lower back and whatnot Chuck E. Cheese is actually kinda awesome if you catch a little buzz it’s not that bad and sometimes there’s some hot young mothers here although I think that mostly what happens is the dad is like ‘oh hey i’ll give you a break so you can get your nails done or whatever honey’ and I’ll hang with little what’s his face so what ends up happening is that it’s mostly guys here It’s weird still though occasionally it’s pretty good hey where’d you get that shirt that’s pretty sweet what is that like Gap or something?………

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