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Makers of Popular Baby Launcher Announce Recall

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By   /   April 10, 2014  /   No Comments

A recall has been announced by The Ziffman Company of Short Hills, N.J., regarding their wildly popular baby launcher – the Toddler Tosser 7000.

3,000 Toddler Tosser launch units, which are said to account for more than fifty percent of the company’s total revenues, were sold in the past six months alone. Sporting goods and toy stores alike were feverishly pulling unsold units off shelves as late as yesterday.

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“It’s a real shame that we have to yank these things off the shelves so close to the weather warming up and whatnot,” said Daniel Scholto of Herman’s Sporting Goods in Medford, Mass. “But if the TT [Toddler Tosser] is putting kids in harm’s way, removing the product is the responsible thing to do. Better safe than sorry – that’s our motto. That, and We’ll match any competitor’s price – guaranteed! That’s our other motto. But in this particular fer-instance, Better safe than sorry is the better, more appropriate motto.”

Calls to The Ziffman Company were not returned, but sources close to the situation are citing x-axis calibration issues – meaning the problems have more to do with left-to-right accuracy levels versus distance accuracy. Broken arms, legs, wrists, feet, hands, noses, fingers, kneecaps, elbows, and toes notwithstanding, no injuries have been reported to date as a result of the Toddler Tosser’s problems.

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