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Public School Wretches

By   /   February 1, 2013  /   No Comments

 

 

ask millie

 

DEAR MILLIE,

My wife and I are the proud parents of two boys, aged 4 and 9, both of whom attend (different) upscale, exclusive private schools. The older of the two has recently made friends with some boys from the other side of the tracks. Meaning: they attend public school. We feel that his fraternizing with these “PS-ers” might “dumb him down.” Are we being crazy, or should we relax and think of this akin to a summer job spent working on a garbage truck…something that will build character? What do you think?       – Signed, Scared!

DEAR SCARED,

In my opinion, there are two kinds of parents out there: parents who send their kids to public school, and parents who love their children. Congratulations on being the latter; and you are by no means the first to inquire about this “situation,” as it were.

Your garbage truck analogy is an apt one, and I agree wholeheartedly that you should consider your son’s experiment with these street urchins like that of a day spent amongst the trash or a day at the Rikers Correctional Facility. Believe me, It’s only a matter of time before your dear son is “scared straight.” And by this I mean: scared-straight-back-into-the-warm-loving-arms-of-his-own-kind…..once he’s dipped his toe into the dark, swirling undercurrent of lowerclass, public school riff-raff – also known as: the “under-500K set.”

I have seen this many times before. Initially, the thrill of riding in cars with cloth seats or drinking water from the tap will seem exhilarating and new, but when this harmless experimentation inevitably careens towards chicken (Mc)nuggets found in fast food restaurants, Red Bull sodas, and Gap sweatshirts, he will start to long for the high thread-counts and aroma of truffle butter in which he was once enveloped.

Consider too the cautionary lesson your younger son will witness as your older boy is in full withdrawal from the sugar and commonality that has bombarded his system. It won’t be pretty, but both offspring will be better off for the experiment.

Here is my own “PS” for you: Good luck, my dear!

 

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  • Published: 1724 days ago on February 1, 2013
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  • Last Modified: February 13, 2013 @ 5:25 pm
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