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Upper West Side Private School Under Fire for New Slogan: ‘We’re Only as Successful as Our Stupidest Child.’

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By   /   May 3, 2017  /   No Comments

Briar Manor, the tony, 118-year-old Upper West Side private school, is facing a barrage of criticism from local parents and NY State Department of Education officials over what many are calling a callous and insensitive school slogan. The new slogan: ‘We’re only as successful as our stupidest child’ was unveiled Monday night at the school’s semi-annual PTA meeting to a stunned crowd. It replaces the relatively bland yet inoffensive slogan, “Oh, the places you’ll go to!”

“At best, it’s an ill-vetted concept executed poorly,” said DOE spokesperson, Carla Yastremski. “At it’s very worst, it flies defiantly in the face of what we know about modern education in that it clings to the rigidity of antiquated stereotypes. Each child learns differently. And there is no such thing as a stupid child. Only a child who has not been taught properly.”

Despite the immense amount of opposition to the school’s new slogan, some parents see little harm in the sentiment.

“This is just another example of the pussy-fication of our kids,” said Casey Dawes, whose son has attended the school for the past two years. “Everybody wins…There are no losers…Here’s your trophy even though you came in last place and you stink…blah blah blah. This is why the Chinese are killing us. In China, they weed out the dummies and stick them in some factory and then parade the geniuses out for everybody to see. Nothing wrong with that. To ignore the pecking order, which we all know exists, is just stupid.”

Although Briar Manor has not responded to repeated calls for comment, it is expected that the slogan will be revisited after many large private donors have publicly threatened to suspend financial support of the school.

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