Several Whole Foods shoppers and employees got an eyeful of areola Saturday afternoon thanks to Diane McCann’s gargantuan nip-slip.
McCann, who is eight months pregnant, first (inadvertantly) introduced Whole Foods deli manager Darren Osten to her rogue nipple after bending over to retrieve the shopping list she had dropped in front of his deli case.
“Even seeing the nip-slip through the distorted deli glass, I knew this thing was special,” said Osten. “I called one of my guys over to have a look – so I’d have someone to back me up…some corroboration, because nobody would have believed me had I not had a witness. It was that huge.”
“It is not uncommon for a woman’s breasts to gain one or two cup sizes during pregnancy,” said Dr. Margaret Chow of Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center. “And this often leads to mishaps based on the unfamiliarity and newness of her bosom. However, the bra McCann was reportedly wearing should have kept those things well under wraps, as it were.”
The nip-slip occurred when a portion of McCann’s left breast sprung from the confines of her fortified bra. In a matter of minutes, word of the slip had spread from the the deli counter to the meat department, then the fruit and produce department, canned goods, the salad bar, crackers and cereals, and back to the deli counter.
“By the time the story came back to us here at the deli counter, people were saying that both nips had sprung and they were the size of hubcaps,” said Osten. “Oh, and the lady was Loni Anderson. You know how people exaggerate.”