An Upper West Side father of three was cornered by insufferably optimistic, soon-to-be parents, Grace and Hrishi Devi, Saturday morning during the young couple’s baby shower on West Eighty-Eighth Street.
Dave Swartz, a co-worker of Hrishi, lamented that neither Grace nor Hirishi showed any signs of cooling it on the positivity and good cheer, despite repeated warnings to knock it off around some of the more exhausted, pissed off parents – for fear of getting punched or stabbed.
“I’m happy for them, I guess” said Swartz, who spent a good part of the morning attempting to remove spit-up from his eyebrow and the little bit that trickled into his ear. “But they need to pace themselves. It’s like dopamine. Use it all up now and you won’t have any left when you have to access that shit to trick yourself back into the fact that you’re supposedly happy.” Added another irritated shower-attendee who wished to remain anonymous: “Of course I wish them the best, but part of me hopes that their baby has that disgusting maroon rash on her forehead…or really vicious gas or something. This couple needs to come the fuck back down to earth.”